Parashat Vayetze: God in the Hard Spots

“Behold God is in this place, and I was not aware.” These were Yaakov’s words after his ladder dream encounter with God. It is a statement of spiritual awakening, of a new sense of divine presence around him. Where is “this place”, hamakom hazeh, and how can we, too, get to it?

The classical interpreters read “this place” as referring to Mount Moriah, on which Isaac was bound, and which will be the future site of the Temple. But I wonder whether we can’t read “this place” as referring to a spiritual/emotional place, the particular head-space that Yaakov was in that night.

And what “place” was that? A lonely, fearful, anxious place. Yaakov was running away from a brother who wanted to kill him, alone and friendless, moving out of the security of his parental home onto an unknown path. Vayetze – He had left his home, but he had not yet arrived in a new home, a new life. He was in a moment of transition, and moments of transition are frought with hardship. Like the hard rocks that Yaakov placed beneath his head that night to sleep on, Yaakov’s head was in a hard place.

What Yaakov learned and what we learn from this experience is that “Behold, God is in this place” – God exists, is accessible, precisely in such hard spots. Rocky times are, as Yaakov says, a Sha’ar HaShamayim, a gate to heaven.

The Piaseczner Rebbe says that every moment of sadness, of anxiety or worry, even the slightest sigh – these are cracks in the soul, openings that allow us access to the deep water within ourselves that connects us up above. Normally these holes are closed over, but when we are in a state of emotional turmoil, there is an opening, a sha’ar, a gate to heaven.

We don’t normally think this way. As Yaakov says, “Behold God is in this place, and I was not aware.” We are not aware that God is there. When we suffer, we try to escape, to cover over our feelings with work or food or other distractions. But the Piasezcner Rebbe says they are an opportunity, an opportunity to become closer to God. Step away from life for a moment and talk to God about what is bothering you. These are moments of great access. They are, as Yaakov experienced, a ladder reaching from the earth to heaven.