A Meditation for Parashat Vayetze (Written Form)

Yaakov dreams of a ladder whose base is firmly planted in the ground and whose top reaches up to heaven.  And on the ladder, angels -- 

Vehineh malakhei Elokim olim veyordim bo.   And behold angels are going up and going down on it. 

We are going to take some time now to try to experience a little of this vision.  Get into a position that is comfortable and relaxed, and a posture that implies for you a sense of surrender.  Yaakov was asleep for this vision so try to mimic the feeling of relaxation just before sleep.  Close your eyes.  Let your thoughts slow down a little, settling, settling, like snowflakes in a snowglobe, coming to a rest after all their swirling.  Settling and slowing down.  Nothing to do but relax.  Let your shoulders fall back and your breathing slow down.  

Now bring your attention to your feet on the ground, or if you are sitting cross legged, to your whole torso and legs.     Bring your attention to whatever is supporting you, whether it is the chair or the floor, and feel how firmly planted you are in the ground.   You are like Yaakov’s ladder --- mutzav artzah  -- firmly planted in the ground.  You have a stable, rooted base in the earth, in this physical world that we live in.  Feel how physical it is, strong and supportive and real.   It holds you with firmness.   You are part of the earth.  

At the same time, your head reaches to the sky, like the top of Yaakov’s ladder, the rosh, the Torah calls it.   Feel how the top half of you  -- your head and your heart -- are reaching upwards, yearning for the heavens.    Feel your heart and your mind opening and the sudden flow upwards, like a whoosh of energy wanting to go up.      Flying upwards.   Reaching, yearning.  Or imagine a string going from the top of your head and reaching up to the sky, up to God above.   You are rooted in the ground below but you are also whooshing upwards, a part of something above, attached there, too.   Feel both of these pulls at once, the sense of groundedness, and the sense of yearning and reaching upwards.  The one is very strong and concrete and the other has a lighter more ethereal pull, like the tug of air.

Now the angels on the ladder.  The angels are the carriers of your life energy, your breath.  Bring your attention to your breath.   The inhale and the exhale are the angels going up and down inside you.   Notice how on the inhale your whole chest lifts up and on the exhale your whole chest goes down.   Imagine that your breath is being carried by angels inside you, filling and lifting you up, up, up and then letting go, down, down, down.   In and then out, filling and then letting go.  

In and then out.  The out part goes out of you and continues, extending way beyond you, out into the world and up into the heavens.  The angels fly on the wings of your breath up to heaven, with each breath returning you back to your source, back to God above, recharging, and coming back down again to you.    Feel the flow of divine energy flowing in and out of you, up to heaven and then back down again.   Divine energy, life force, your source, your origin.  With each breath you are connected and rejuvenated, recharged.   The angels send and receive, bring and take, in a neverending flow of connection to the divine.  

In and out, and up and down.  Olim veyordim.  The flow of charge moves back and forth between heaven and earth in a vibrating pulsing rhythm.   Back and forth, back and forth.  The prophet Yehezkel describes angelic movement as - Ratzo vashov.   Running forward and then back again.  Forward and back.  Forward toward God, reaching, wanting to get close, to disappear into the infinite, yearning for closeness, to become one, to become nothing, and then back down, away again, back down to earth, to this finite life, to this body.   Ratzo vashov.   Forward and back.  Feel how this is the movement of angels and the movement of the life force in everything.   Intimacy and retreat.   Connection and separation.  The waves of the ocean -- up and down, the trees and the grass swaying and breathing in and out as well, the world vibrating and pulsing in a universal life rhythm.   Feel the rhythm inside you -- your breath and your heart beating, pulsing, and then feel how the same rhythm is outside you.  Inside and outside -- the same back and forth of the angels, the same life force everywhere, connecting and letting go, giving and taking, going and coming back.  As you ride the waves of your own breath, you are also riding the waves of energy throughout the universe.  Everywhere the same universal rhythm of connection to the divine.  Inside you and outside you.   You are a part of it all, a part of this large vibrating divine energy flow.

You are connected to everything outside you and also again, to the heavens above.   The angels that carry your breath back and forth, giving you new life at each moment -- they are creating a ladder for you, a direct link to Your source above.   Heaven and earth have become one for you.  Feel the link with each breath, feel how noticing it strengthens the sense of connection.  With each breath, your connection to the Source gets stronger, the energy flow more intense, the light shining down brighter, and the line that connects you from self to God clearer and more visible.  There it is.  You have clarity about this link now.    You can feel the ladder. 

But the flow is not in one direction.   It isn’t just that God sends down energy and love and light to you.   You have something to send to God, too.  Actually you do it first.    Olim veyordim.  The angels go up and then they go down.  Feel the welling up of love and light and energy that you have inside you to send up to heaven.   There is an energy exchange here.  You send and receive, send and receive.   Feel how you are not just open to receiving from heaven but also ready and capable of giving something, of sending back.  Love is a two-directional flow.   You receive and you give and it just keeps increasing, the love keeps getting stronger.    Feel the strength of your own yearning and love, your own desire to connect above.  Let the angels take your yearning up to God and feel how they bring back down God’s yearning for you.     Back and forth goes the flow of love.  

Rest for a moment in the sense of connection and relationship and flow.     With each breath imagine the angels on the ladder going up and down, keeping the energy and love flowing between you and your Source.  

Now let go of attending so closely to the breath.  Allow it to recede into the background, still there, but not in the foreground of your attention.  You can trust that the link to heaven will continue to operate on its own .  It is there for you when you need it and you can return to it at any point.   But for now, allow the sense of connection to give you strength for whatever comes next in your life.   Yaakov awoke from this dream vision energized for the journey ahead.  The Torah says  Vayisa Yaakov raglav vayelakh.  Yaakov lifted his legs and went on his way.   His sense of connection with the divine strengthened, he continued on his journey with a new lilt to his gait.    The rock that covered the well he came to next was so large it normally took a whole group of people to lift, but Yaakov could now lift it on his own.    He had the divine flow of energy pulsing through him.  

You are like Yaakov.  Feel the divine energy flowing through you from above.  You, too, are ready to tackle whatever comes next.  

*special thanks to Lynnie Mirvis for meditation inspiration.