Parashat Chaye Sarah: On Doing Favors

To do another person a favor is a more weighty act than we usually think. There is a Hasidic notion that sometimes a soul comes down to earth for 70 or 80 years with the sole purpose of doing a specific favor for one particular person. What an awesome thing is that favor! But as we don’t know which one we were sent here to do, we have to treat them all with the same sanctity.

“I will give you to drink, and I will also give water to your camels.” So says Rivka to Avraham’s servant in this week’s parsha. Perhaps it was to do this one act that she was sent down to earth.

It is a simple act, this giving of water, but it has a huge impact, unlocking blessings from bracelets to marriage and children to the continuation of our people. Such is the weight of a favor sometimes.

Rivka encapsulates the favor-giving attitude. She is unstingy with her time. Can you imagine the scenario? She, a young maiden, serving a wealthy master’s servant and helping him not just with one camel – and they drink a lot – but with all 10. If it were me, I would be tempted to say, or at least think – why can’t you do it yourself (or at least help me do it)? You look strong enough. Or – I have my own animals to worry about, too. But we get no such sign of skepticism or stinginess from Rivka. She gives freely and enthusiastically of her energy, which is, after all, often our most precious commodity. Like the water coming out of her pitcher, she fairly overflows with generosity and good heart.

Here is gemilut hasadim, the doing of kind deeds, at its best. Note the repeated use of the word hesed in this parsha and also, a bit more subtly, the word gamal, “camel” (thank you to my son Medad for this idea).

The ultimate doer of hesed, as Avraham’s servant repeatedly reminds us, is God. Do we deserve all the good we get daily? Do we really deserve these beautiful children, all this plentiful food and the stunning world He created for us? Of course not. It is all hesed, free giving done, like Rivka, without calculation. When we feel the full extent of that blessing and that overflowing generosity, when we can really see that cornucopia, we can also, like Rivka, give to others in that same unstinting way.

It is sometimes difficult to know what action to take in this confused world. Maybe it will help to remind ourselves that the whole point may be quite simple --- the whole point may be to do one person a particular favor and to do it in Rivka’s generous way.