Parashat Tetzaveh: Carrying Others on our Hearts

What does it mean to be a leader? There is much honor accorded to Aharon and his sons, the kohanim (priests) in this week’s parsha. They receive special clothing made lekavod uletiferet, “for honor and for glory,” and Aharon wears a ribbon around his head with a marker that he is kodesh lashem, “holy to God.”

Is this what it means to be a leader – to receive kavod, honor and respect in the community, to be marked as an elite, as special to God?

There is another piece of leadership described in this week’s parsha which perhaps explains all this honor. Aharon is to wear on his shoulders as well as al libo, “on his heart,” precious stones bearing the names of all of the tribes of Israel. He carries the weight of the nation on his shoulders, their concerns in his heart. Whatever honor is accorded to him is accorded to him purely as their messenger, the mediator between God and the people. His role is to remember each one, to keep them in mind and heart, so that God, too, will remember them, lizikaron lifnei Hashem.

True kedushah, holiness, and true kavod, honor, comes from the ability to carry others around inside us, to keep their problems in mind, to remember them and think of what they might be feeling or needing. I was thinking about this in minyan one morning as we recited the names of the sick. We elevate ourselves through our concern for others; we become more than ourselves, break down the prison of our separateness, and touch something larger. Including in our prayers the names of the individual sick ones we know is a practical way of remembering theit troubles each day, of carrying them on our shoulders and in our hearts like Aharon did.

Aharon was ideally suited to this task, as he was the ultimate ferginer. A ferginer is someone who is happy at the success of others. After Moshe was appointed to be the leader and savior of the people, Aharon approached him, and God told Moshe that Aharon would see him and “be happy in his heart, “ ve’samach belibo. For a brother to rejoice at his younger brother’s greater successes is remarkable. Aharon was a person who knew how to feel for other people – in this case, he felt joy at Moshe’s success. In the Mishkan he was asked to take on both the joys and the sorrows of the entire Israelite people, to carry them in his heart as he had carried Moshe, too, in his heart, with a sense of generosity and openness that goes beyond the self.

This ability to carry others in our hearts is what it means to be holy, what it means to have honor, and also ultimately what it means to be a leader.