Parashat Chaye Sarah: On Death and Hesed

Our parsha, Chaye Sarah, is enveloped by death. At its start is death, that of Sarah, and its conclusion is death, that of Avraham and of Ishmael. In life, we are surrounded by death. We will all die and we live our lives through the prism of that knowledge. We were not alive before our births, and we will cease to exist afterwards. The question is: What is left of significance in the middle, given this framing?

And the answer, according to this week’s parsha, is hesed, loving-kindness. This is the spark of eternity which grows out of this frame of death. Rebecca is chosen as Isaac’s wife because of her acts of hesed, of generosity and compassion and love for a stranger as she draws water for Avraham’s servant and for his camels. She is a giver, attentive to the needs of those around her. Giving generously, it turns out, is the abiding legacy of Avraham, our first patriarch, the one who ran after guests and fed them his finest meat. Generosity and kindness are what remains, what needs to be preserved in the shadow of death that threatens to engulf us.

Which makes sense, in a way. If you only live for yourself, and then you die, then you are truly gone when you are gone. But if you have somehow gotten beyond the confines of self through the care of others, then you are not bound by time or physical container, but have, like Avraham and Sarah, become part of something eternal.