Parashat Mishpatim/Shekalim: On Being a Half

How much do I matter in the world? Do I “count”? Where do I stand in relation to others and to the cosmic whole of things?

This week, in addition to Parashat Mishpatim, we read an additional pre-Passover reading of Shekalim, the command to have each person contribute a half-shekel as a way of taking a census.

A half-shekel – we need to wrap our minds around the notion of ourselves as halves. Halves in relation to other people, halves in relation to God and to the universe. This means tapping in to that yearning first experienced by the lonely Adam, looking for a mate, to feel the depth of our individual incompleteness, and the corollary, our interconnectedness with all that is. We yearn for connection, with each other, and also with some larger Being who is our Source.

Giving a half is the ultimate act of generosity. It makes it clear that I cannot do it alone, and so makes room, an opening, for another. The Hasidim talk about making ourselves into a kli, an open vessel, and we have the frequent image of God’s open-handed generosity in our tefilot (prayers). Openness and generosity go hand in hand. Generosity requires giving, but also an awareness of our own limitations, and our need for the other. There is in true generosity both a feeling of overflowing and a retreat, a retreat of the ego to provide space for others.

Being half is a joyful state, the state of joining hands in a spirited dance. And so we read this parsha about half-shekels right before the month of Adar, whose essence is joy. We are joyous because we are not alone, and we know that we do not carry the burden alone, that our role is merely, as the Pirkei Avot saying goes, to participate in the work, not to finish it. This provides both relief and joy as, through a slight retreat of the ego, we open ourselves to the Infinite around us. By being half, we become part of All.