Parashat Vayishlach: On Fear and Prayer

Sometimes we are so gripped by a negative emotion – fear, depression, or anxiety -- that it overwhelms our ability to see flexibly and to imagine a positive outcome. This emotion becomes the lens through which we view the world, and we get stuck -- It is hard to get out of this state.

I wonder how Yaakov did it. In the beginning of this week’s parsha, we hear that he is overwhelmed by fear. Vayira Yaakov me’od vayetzer lo . “Yaakov was greatly frightened and anxious” (32:6). He has just been told that his brother Esav is approaching him with 400 men. This is all the information he has. It is natural for him to view this information through the prism of a powerful fear – a childhood fear he has carried with him for 20 years after running away from this same brother who wanted to kill him.

At first it is this fear alone that guides Yaakov’s views and actions – he prepares to be attacked, splitting his camp into two parts so that “If Esav comes to the one camp and attacks it, the other camp may yet escape” (32:9).

But this is not the only action Yaakov takes to prepare for Esav’s arrival. Perhaps if it had been, he would indeed have been attacked; sometimes we create our own destinies through fear; the world fulfills our worst expectations precisely because of this emotion and the way we have shaped our actions accordingly.

But Yaakov rises above this fear-tinged view of things. He sends out gifts to his brother –elaborate gifts of many many animals, which the Torah spends two full verses listing – in the hope, as he says, that “perhaps he will show me favor.” Yaakov was able – in the midst of an overwhelming fear – to imagine a positive outcome.

And by imagining it, he made it so. What was Esav’s intent in coming with 400 men? We will never know, but surely Yaakov’s ability to imagine that things could end amicably is what helped tipped the balance in favor of peace.

Whence Yaakov’s strength? Whence his positive energy? Prayer. Rashi famously points to 3 things that Yaakov does to prepare for Esav’s arrival – war, prayer and presents. Perhaps there is a reason for this order. Yaakov begins, gripped by fear, by assuming the worst and preparing for war. But then, after turning to God in prayer, he emerges with the faith to imagine a positive end, and the strength to make it happen.

This is what prayer does for us. It transforms us. Whether or not it has an effect on God is impossible to know, but it can have an incredible effect on us. Lehitpallel – “to pray” in Hebrew is a reflexive verb; prayer is a way of speaking to ourselves as much as to God. It helps us reshape our perspective on the world, to get out of the prism (and prison) of our fear and despair, and believe in the possibility of a positive force in the world.